From the time my babies were created, they have relied on me to protect, nurture and take care of them. And after they joined the world, they have expected help from several different people in order to accomplish different things. With each new thing that they can do alone, I get excited and a little bit sad. Excited because my little baby is becoming more independent and so much more grown-up. Sad because that is one more thing my teeny, tiny little person does not need my help with. Punkin-head and Baby Girl have both told me, "No, mommy, I can do it by myself." And in my head, I think, "Yay!! One less thing I need to worry about right now. Wait. Wait just a second. Stop growing up and needing me less."
And so, with all of this self-sufficiency, I have found myself holding onto so much more with my little babies. Which brings me to the dentist appointment last week. The dental tech came out to the waiting room and said my son's name. I stood up and walked over to her with him and she told me, "Oh, he gets to go back all by himself since he's over the age of 3." I'm sorry...WHAT?? He goes back all by himself and has his very own dental appointment...BY HIMSELF?? I said, "Really?? I can't go back with him??" She told me, "Don't worry. He'll be just fine." Well, great. I know he'll be fine, but I'm not. My little man walked back there and as I watched the door close behind him, I seriously started to cry a little. I have been there for him for everything, and now he's big enough to go by himself.
Thankfully, Baby Girl got called back to her appointment at the same time, and I went back with her. I held her in my lap as the tech cleaned her teeth and the dentist examined her cute little smile. Then Punkin-head came walking around the corner with a big grin on his face and a bag of dental goodies for being such a good patient. He was so proud of himself for being such a big kid. And I was proud that he was able to be so good all by himself. I told him I was so happy that he did so well, and he was such a big boy now. Then the dentist said, "We'll see you back in 6 months. And next time, she'll be able to go back by herself too." Oh, well, isn't that just peachy??
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Reunions and Whatnot
The first and most important reunion in the past couple of weeks was the day that the Hubs came home. And this time, it's for good. I think :) No, really. He really is back to stay, and I have officially resigned as a single mom. Ta-da!! Since he's been back, I've gained 5 pounds, the house is cleaner, and pictures have actually been hung on the walls. About 5 days after he came home, we drove up to Colorado for my 10 year high school reunion. Because nothing says, "Welcome home honey!!" like a 13 hour road trip with 2 toddlers and a cranky pregnant wife.
Aside from the fact that it just feels wrong to be old enough to attend any kind of reuinion, it was so strange being back in my hometown. Strange because so much has changed, and yet, the atmosphere of the town is exactly the same. And I don't miss it at all. Wait, not true. I totally miss some of the food. I don't think I ever stopped eating while I was there. But I don't have any ties to the town anymore. Sure, it's great to see old friends, but the truth is that I probably won't be back there for a very long time. It's strange to "go home" again, when it doesn't feel like I ever really lived there at all. And maybe I didn't. Perhaps I was just staying there for a while before I moved on with my life. So...the trip home was bittersweet, to say the least.
And now?? Now we are living an extremely mundane life. I work, and the Hubs is looking for a job. He's taken over a lot of the day-to-day chores (and I'm not complaining), and we just hang out together. For now we are just taking things one day at a time, and that feels pretty good.
Aside from the fact that it just feels wrong to be old enough to attend any kind of reuinion, it was so strange being back in my hometown. Strange because so much has changed, and yet, the atmosphere of the town is exactly the same. And I don't miss it at all. Wait, not true. I totally miss some of the food. I don't think I ever stopped eating while I was there. But I don't have any ties to the town anymore. Sure, it's great to see old friends, but the truth is that I probably won't be back there for a very long time. It's strange to "go home" again, when it doesn't feel like I ever really lived there at all. And maybe I didn't. Perhaps I was just staying there for a while before I moved on with my life. So...the trip home was bittersweet, to say the least.
And now?? Now we are living an extremely mundane life. I work, and the Hubs is looking for a job. He's taken over a lot of the day-to-day chores (and I'm not complaining), and we just hang out together. For now we are just taking things one day at a time, and that feels pretty good.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
You're Not an Expert
This may come off as a little snippy, but some things just need to be addressed. And sometimes it doesn't matter if you address a specific individual in person, they never seem to get the point, or they choose not to change old habits. So, here's a list of people that may have had similar experiences to mine, but that doesn't make them an expert:
-Just because you have a child, doesn't mean you are a parenting expert. This sentence speaks volumes, I just wish some people would actually read it. This doesn't mean that I wouldn't accept parenting advice, but really I don't need to hear how certain people would do things differently, and what I 'm doing wrong. Everyone makes mistakes in parenting, myself included.
-Just because you have a bank account, doesn't make you a financial expert. There are maybe 2 people in my life that I would go to for financial advice. And if I haven't asked you, then you aren't one of them.
-Just because you have money, doesn't mean you should spend it. I don't care if something is on sale. If it's not something I NEED to function in my life on a day-to-day basis, then I don't need to buy it. 75% off or not.
-Just because you have a driver's license, doesn't mean you are a good driver.
-Just because you've had more education more than me, doesn't make you better. It also doesn't give someone the right to talk down to me, or talk to me like I don't know what I'm doing, because CLEARLY, nobody could ever be as super good and awesome as you are, ALL of the time, because YOU NEVER make any mistakes.
I may be a little grouchy lately, and I may be able to blame it on the pregnancy hormones for a little bit longer. Regardless, the above statements are still true. Pregnant or not.
-Just because you have a child, doesn't mean you are a parenting expert. This sentence speaks volumes, I just wish some people would actually read it. This doesn't mean that I wouldn't accept parenting advice, but really I don't need to hear how certain people would do things differently, and what I 'm doing wrong. Everyone makes mistakes in parenting, myself included.
-Just because you have a bank account, doesn't make you a financial expert. There are maybe 2 people in my life that I would go to for financial advice. And if I haven't asked you, then you aren't one of them.
-Just because you have money, doesn't mean you should spend it. I don't care if something is on sale. If it's not something I NEED to function in my life on a day-to-day basis, then I don't need to buy it. 75% off or not.
-Just because you have a driver's license, doesn't mean you are a good driver.
-Just because you've had more education more than me, doesn't make you better. It also doesn't give someone the right to talk down to me, or talk to me like I don't know what I'm doing, because CLEARLY, nobody could ever be as super good and awesome as you are, ALL of the time, because YOU NEVER make any mistakes.
I may be a little grouchy lately, and I may be able to blame it on the pregnancy hormones for a little bit longer. Regardless, the above statements are still true. Pregnant or not.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Finally Have the Internet Back
When I didn't have access to the internet on my home computer, I seriously thought I was going to die. Because, let's be honest, my cell phone internet access is really less than ideal. But other than checking in on Facebook once in a while, I truly didn't miss it at all. Oh yeah, and a couple of my bills may be a couple of days late because the only good part about the internet is online bill pay. But really, I only use the internet to check Facebook, pay bills, and check my email once a month. And then I started having so many amazing things that I wanted to put on my blog, but I didn't have access to it. So here are some seriously random thoughts that I have been thinking lately:
1. Not really a random thought, but Punkin-head turned 4 last week. It was heartbreaking to think of my little boy AS A LITTLE BOY and not a toddler anymore. In a couple of months, he'll be going to school. WHAT??!! That makes me even more sad, but although I truly love him to pieces, I truly need a break from his tantrums lately. They are epic. (But nothing is really as bad as Baby Girl right now. I think I may need to call a priest for her and bathe her in holy water soon.)
2. I do NOT understand how people can complain about the lack of funds that they have, and yet spend, spend, spend. Just because something is on sale, doesn't mean you need to buy it. The Hubs and I are comfortable with our finances right now, but the only things I spend money on are bills, food, and gifts for other people. What happened to saving money?? And if someone has enough money for luxuries, then they shouldn't have the luxury of complaining about how they don't have enough money.
3. Yes, I am pregnant. Yes, I've been pregnant before. That is where the similarities end. I have never had this extreme exhaustion with my other pregnancies. I have never had morning sickness or all day nausea before. I've never been this irritable and cranky with my other pregnancies. So I wish people would stop saying stupid crap like, "Gee, aren't you used to this by now?? " "Welcome to pregnancy!! HAHAHAHA!!" No, I don't feel welcome and I'm not used to it. And for the record, I'm glad it's us having a 3rd baby and not you, too. Yeah, our lives are going to be loony tunes for a while, but that doesn't invite stupid comments. Done and done.
And so, next time I actually have a story to tell, I have the ability to tell it. It may not be a good story, but I promise it won't be so random. Or, maybe it will. But nobody is making you read it.
1. Not really a random thought, but Punkin-head turned 4 last week. It was heartbreaking to think of my little boy AS A LITTLE BOY and not a toddler anymore. In a couple of months, he'll be going to school. WHAT??!! That makes me even more sad, but although I truly love him to pieces, I truly need a break from his tantrums lately. They are epic. (But nothing is really as bad as Baby Girl right now. I think I may need to call a priest for her and bathe her in holy water soon.)
2. I do NOT understand how people can complain about the lack of funds that they have, and yet spend, spend, spend. Just because something is on sale, doesn't mean you need to buy it. The Hubs and I are comfortable with our finances right now, but the only things I spend money on are bills, food, and gifts for other people. What happened to saving money?? And if someone has enough money for luxuries, then they shouldn't have the luxury of complaining about how they don't have enough money.
3. Yes, I am pregnant. Yes, I've been pregnant before. That is where the similarities end. I have never had this extreme exhaustion with my other pregnancies. I have never had morning sickness or all day nausea before. I've never been this irritable and cranky with my other pregnancies. So I wish people would stop saying stupid crap like, "Gee, aren't you used to this by now?? " "Welcome to pregnancy!! HAHAHAHA!!" No, I don't feel welcome and I'm not used to it. And for the record, I'm glad it's us having a 3rd baby and not you, too. Yeah, our lives are going to be loony tunes for a while, but that doesn't invite stupid comments. Done and done.
And so, next time I actually have a story to tell, I have the ability to tell it. It may not be a good story, but I promise it won't be so random. Or, maybe it will. But nobody is making you read it.
Friday, June 3, 2011
What the...I Have a Blog??
Okay, so the past month or so has been somewhat of a blur. The Hubs came back for a little vacay from the desert at the end of April and stayed until May 19th. In that time, there was a lot of bow-chicka-wow-wow going on (sorry for the TMI, I truly have no filter at 4 am), and a lot of the Hubs taking extra good care of me. I'm not going to lie, I super liked it a lot. I mean, honestly, he made me this breakfast bagel that is pretty much the most amazing thing I've ever tasted in the form of a breakfast entree. And even though I dictated exactly how I wanted it made, the point is that I didn't have to cook any part of it or put it together. And I didn't have to clean up afterwards, which is the bestest part of all.
Okay, so apart from all of the me and Hubs time we had (and it was super great), turns out we also have 2 rambunctious little toddlers that also wanted to monopolize Daddy while he was home. He is so amazing with them, and they are on him like white on rice while he is home. I may as well not even be here when Super Dad is around. And that's okay, because I have plenty of Mommy time while he is away.
So, when I actually have the energy to do something more than haul my overactive bladder to the bathroom, I will try to keep this updated fairly regularly from here on out. But for now, I need to swallow down some vomit and go to bed.
Okay, so apart from all of the me and Hubs time we had (and it was super great), turns out we also have 2 rambunctious little toddlers that also wanted to monopolize Daddy while he was home. He is so amazing with them, and they are on him like white on rice while he is home. I may as well not even be here when Super Dad is around. And that's okay, because I have plenty of Mommy time while he is away.
And if all of that love and warm fuzziness wasn't enough, we also bought a house. Yay!! It's huge and beautiful, and we love it to pieces. The kids can't stop talking about how much they love their "new house." I think it's because they have their own little kid space upstairs where they can escape from the adult world. Which is fine with me, because the Hubs went and knocked me up while he was home. That's right...we are pregnant. Again. And about 2 weeks ago, I was all like, "Oh yay!! I'm so nervous, and excited, and I want the nursery to be an owl theme." But now, I feel like vomiting 24-7, and then when I do feel like eating, I overeat to compensate for the fact that most of the time food literally makes me puke in my mouth, which then makes me feel overly sick. So, that sucks. And if that weren't enough, I am so freaking exhausted all...of...the...time; I think I may have pregnancy-induced narcolepsy. Fun mom has left the building. I plan activities around how much I can lay on the couch, and how long I can stay in bed in the mornings before the kids plan a mutiny and finally get me up and going. Which may explain the very obvious lack of posts for the past month.
So, when I actually have the energy to do something more than haul my overactive bladder to the bathroom, I will try to keep this updated fairly regularly from here on out. But for now, I need to swallow down some vomit and go to bed.
Monday, April 25, 2011
Aunty Nanny
Behind every working mom going it alone is a good (hopefully) daycare provider. I so seriously lucked out on the fact that my sister watches my kids while I am at work. And while I sleep during the day because I work nights. She is unbelievably amazing, and I know that I am extremely lucky that I have her in my life. But things weren't always so great between us.
My sister, K, is 7 years younger than I am. And for most of my life growing up, we had to share a bedroom. I'll spare you the details on the disaster that was, but suffice it to say that we didn't get along. When I left for the military, she was this scrawny, annoying 11-year old little girl, and I couldn't wait to be rid of her. I'm so not kidding. She was a pain in the a$$, but mostly I was looking forward to having my own room, with my own things, and everything was mine all mine. I remember coming home to visit one time about 3 years later, and it was about that time that I realized what a cool chick she was. She was outgoing, funny, and always down for something ridiculous. She was a pretty neat little sister. And when I was 9 months pregnant with Baby Girl, she agreed to come live with me and watch my kids while I went to nursing school. I truly thought I had it made. A live-in nanny that would love my kids unconditionally, and I didn't have to worry about how my kids were being treated while I was at school. What I didn't count on, was how little we had in common. I have a type-A personality with an extreme neat streak, and she is obnoxiously messy. I wanted the kids to stay clean, and she would get the paint down and let them become little Picassos all over my kitchen. I like cooking, and she is the master of Mac 'n Cheese.
I was stressed, tired, breastfeeding, doing homework, cleaning, and trying to keep up with every day demands of life. She was chill, relaxed, stay-in-your pajamas for days, eat whatever was available, and hooked on VH1 shows. In all reality, we probably wouldn't be friends if we weren't related. But as much as we got on each other's nerves, we really did become friends. We talked about anything and everything, and adapted to each other's crazy quirks. She really was my best friends for those 5 months. Then she left. I missed her like crazy, but I knew she needed to go be a regular teenager, not a cooped-up nanny for my kids.
After I moved down to Texas and got a job, she agreed to watch my kids again while I was at work. I am more than thankful for her every single day. We call her Aunty Nanny, Handy Nanny, Aunty K, Pretend Step-mom, and sister. But the best name I have for her is Friend. She loves my kids like crazy, even when they act like heathens. My daughter is madly in love with her boyfriend, and Punkin-head loves playing with her rambunctious dogs. I can't wait for the Hubs to come home, but for now I love having her be a part of my life and helping to raise the cutest kids in the whole world.
My sister, K, is 7 years younger than I am. And for most of my life growing up, we had to share a bedroom. I'll spare you the details on the disaster that was, but suffice it to say that we didn't get along. When I left for the military, she was this scrawny, annoying 11-year old little girl, and I couldn't wait to be rid of her. I'm so not kidding. She was a pain in the a$$, but mostly I was looking forward to having my own room, with my own things, and everything was mine all mine. I remember coming home to visit one time about 3 years later, and it was about that time that I realized what a cool chick she was. She was outgoing, funny, and always down for something ridiculous. She was a pretty neat little sister. And when I was 9 months pregnant with Baby Girl, she agreed to come live with me and watch my kids while I went to nursing school. I truly thought I had it made. A live-in nanny that would love my kids unconditionally, and I didn't have to worry about how my kids were being treated while I was at school. What I didn't count on, was how little we had in common. I have a type-A personality with an extreme neat streak, and she is obnoxiously messy. I wanted the kids to stay clean, and she would get the paint down and let them become little Picassos all over my kitchen. I like cooking, and she is the master of Mac 'n Cheese.
I was stressed, tired, breastfeeding, doing homework, cleaning, and trying to keep up with every day demands of life. She was chill, relaxed, stay-in-your pajamas for days, eat whatever was available, and hooked on VH1 shows. In all reality, we probably wouldn't be friends if we weren't related. But as much as we got on each other's nerves, we really did become friends. We talked about anything and everything, and adapted to each other's crazy quirks. She really was my best friends for those 5 months. Then she left. I missed her like crazy, but I knew she needed to go be a regular teenager, not a cooped-up nanny for my kids.
After I moved down to Texas and got a job, she agreed to watch my kids again while I was at work. I am more than thankful for her every single day. We call her Aunty Nanny, Handy Nanny, Aunty K, Pretend Step-mom, and sister. But the best name I have for her is Friend. She loves my kids like crazy, even when they act like heathens. My daughter is madly in love with her boyfriend, and Punkin-head loves playing with her rambunctious dogs. I can't wait for the Hubs to come home, but for now I love having her be a part of my life and helping to raise the cutest kids in the whole world.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
When Things Aren't So Fabulous
I can't even begin to count how many times people have said to me, "My goodness, you must be pretty busy with a 2 year old, and a 3 year old. " Or, "How do you do it??" The thing is, being a single mom is all I've really known. Sure, the Hubby was here for the first year of Punkin-head's life, but I've been a single mom since before Baby Girl was even born. I don't know what it's like to have someone here to help take care of the kids, so I've learned how to do it all alone. It's not always so great, but it's the only life of mommy-hood I know. And until recently, I think things have been going pretty good.
Having 2 toddlers is a hot mess, and that's on a good day. Throw in potty training a stubborn little girl, cleaning, working, and trying to maintain some level of sanity, and it's really all I can do sometimes to not flip out. I've never been a patient person, but I have become better at letting go of the little things so I don't become so overwhelmed with the day-to-day stressors. The only problem is that maybe I've been letting too many things go. My kids are disciplined, but that doesn't mean they listen very well. And in an effort to not be saying NO all day, every day, I admit that I've become somewhat lax in how I deal with the kids. Only now they are starting to hit that independence phase in toddler-hood, and try to push their limits all of the time. The Hubby called the other night, and I told him, "Listen. I can't do this anymore. I think I've done pretty well with dealing with being a single mom pretty well, but I've really had it. I. CAN'T. DO. THIS. ANYMORE." And he just sat there on the phone in silence because, really, what could he say to that?? I don't know what I wanted him to say, but I didn't want to hear silence, so I just hung up.
I have become the type of mom I swore I never wanted to be. And trying to keep the kids from killing each other and destroying the house is making me more stressed than I've ever been in my entire life. There are some days that I know the day is going to suck as soon as I wake up because of how the kids are acting, which just makes me more stressed about how I'm going to deal with the rest of the day. I'd like to get out and do things with the kids, but I don't think I could handle taking both of them out in public by myself. Plus, they act like heathens whenever we go somewhere, and I don't want to be "that" mom. So for everyone that seems to think I'm not a REAL single mom because I'm married, I've got news for you. My husband is gone. All of the time. How does that NOT make me single mom?? And for the record?? This single mom is over it.
Jen
Having 2 toddlers is a hot mess, and that's on a good day. Throw in potty training a stubborn little girl, cleaning, working, and trying to maintain some level of sanity, and it's really all I can do sometimes to not flip out. I've never been a patient person, but I have become better at letting go of the little things so I don't become so overwhelmed with the day-to-day stressors. The only problem is that maybe I've been letting too many things go. My kids are disciplined, but that doesn't mean they listen very well. And in an effort to not be saying NO all day, every day, I admit that I've become somewhat lax in how I deal with the kids. Only now they are starting to hit that independence phase in toddler-hood, and try to push their limits all of the time. The Hubby called the other night, and I told him, "Listen. I can't do this anymore. I think I've done pretty well with dealing with being a single mom pretty well, but I've really had it. I. CAN'T. DO. THIS. ANYMORE." And he just sat there on the phone in silence because, really, what could he say to that?? I don't know what I wanted him to say, but I didn't want to hear silence, so I just hung up.
I have become the type of mom I swore I never wanted to be. And trying to keep the kids from killing each other and destroying the house is making me more stressed than I've ever been in my entire life. There are some days that I know the day is going to suck as soon as I wake up because of how the kids are acting, which just makes me more stressed about how I'm going to deal with the rest of the day. I'd like to get out and do things with the kids, but I don't think I could handle taking both of them out in public by myself. Plus, they act like heathens whenever we go somewhere, and I don't want to be "that" mom. So for everyone that seems to think I'm not a REAL single mom because I'm married, I've got news for you. My husband is gone. All of the time. How does that NOT make me single mom?? And for the record?? This single mom is over it.
Jen
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